Regardless of whether you are negotiating a raise with your boss, negotiating a vacation schedule with your ex-wife or negotiating with a seller or buyer in an online auction, there are certain rules or principles that will help you resolve your dispute.
Rule 1. Focus on goals.
Don’t get caught up in your emotions. It’s important that you verify your emotions at the door before trying to negotiate anything. Feelings like anger can make a person lose control. We’ve all seen someone get red on their face and start wagging their finger and generally look like they could have a heart attack easily. Sometimes this person was so angry that he couldn’t be reached. You have to pass this stage if you want to be successful. If you are an angry and upset person, you need to focus on what you want to achieve and tell yourself that nothing is getting in the way of this goal. It doesn’t matter whether you like the other party or not. Some parties are rude, obnoxious, and offensive. Try to get past the humiliation so you can focus on resolving the conflict. Other people may be cheating on you, so don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have approached you. If you focus on the goal of the negotiation, it doesn’t matter whether you love or respect the other person.
Rule 2. Look forward, not back.
The past is called the past for a reason. If one party is too involved in what happened in the past, it can become counter-productive. One of the parties in the divorce case may tend to document all the wrongs that the husband has committed, in such a way that the wife does not even think about the purpose of the negotiations other than blaming the husband. You have to find a way to get into the present and deal with current custody or visiting issues. Ask the other party what they want now to resolve the conflict.
Rule 3. You don’t have to have the right to reside.
What are the three most common words we want to hear, even more than “I love you”? We love hearing the magic words, “You’re right.” For some people, saying this is more difficult than saying “I love you”. And if you say, “You’re absolutely right,” that’s even better. When someone says, “This is the principle that matters” or “This is not money, this is the principle!” I know negotiations are in trouble. This is because the party decided that being martyred was more important than solving cases. When someone is obsessed with attitude principles, they remain emotionally dependent on their feelings. If you can’t deal with these feelings, the conflict will likely not be resolved. Feelings of right can be powerful emotions, but they have no place in negotiations. If the other party was only interested in the truth, it was very likely that the situation would not be resolved.
Rule 4. Know what you want and what other people want.
Knowing what you want may seem obvious, but most people don’t know what they want. They are so angry that they don’t even ask themselves how to solve a problem. If they don’t know what they want, how can they get it? They may want to break down and reformulate the circumstances that pushed them into these negotiations. Depending on the complexity of the situation, you will need to have a detailed plan for what you want. In addition to knowing what you want, you also need to know what you are willing to give up in order to get what you want. You can usually get what you want if you are willing to pay for it. Never start a negotiation without knowing what you want.
Rule 5. Get ready and do your research.
Once you have an idea of what you want, you have to do your research and prepare. It can be as simple as writing down your arguments on a piece of paper or as complex as doing research for a raise application fee. In any case, you have to be prepared. If you don’t, you could create a waiver or a deal that you’ll regret later. You need to know the reasons behind your request and a good estimate of costs, including future costs. There’s nothing more embarrassing than giving a presentation and having someone question the accuracy of your number and messing up the whole presentation because the data is confusing or even worse. If you are not fully prepared, consider delaying the start of negotiations. If you come up with little or no information, and try to solve it, you’ll regret it later. You can’t go overboard. Even if you don’t use everything you have prepared, it doesn’t matter. P